Is forgiveness automatically a virtue?

I've been pondering forgiveness lately. For some, it's an automatic virtue, kind of a repeating "all forgiveness, all the time" radio station wiping every one's slate clean on a two minute rotation.

I'm a bit at odds with that. Even the Catholics (of whom I am one) demand three things for forgiveness, admittance, penance, and an honest desire to do BETTER, not do it again.

I've had friends that have required forgiveness, and I certainly have. Where I start losing it with friends, is when I get apologies for some misdeed, and nothing changes. The same behaviour continues.

That tells me there was no desire for forgiveness at all. The message is that they aren't sorry they did something wrong; they're sorry they got caught, or that you are making them admit it. It's a very self-centered desire (or intention even) for them to continue to do whatever they damn well please, and then lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, or ANYTHING to not be held responsible.

I've had friends that were like roused hives of African Killer Bees. They take offense at the slightest misstep (or even an imagined misstep), and they turn VICIOUS very very quickly. Recently, I got tired of the vicious "go for the throat" tactics of one of them, and just went back the same way.

Well, not EXACTLY the same way, she was trying to hurt, I was trying to piss her off. I knew enough about her to know what subjects would hurt her, so I just satisfied myself with anger.

Largely? Well, I was tired of getting my throat ripped out, and just figured the friendship was over anyway if that was the way it was going to be.

Now... Forgiveness?

I dunno. This one is a long history of doing whatever she wants to do, and reacting with fury if you ever hold her responsible.

I don't think forgiveness is deserved. I'm more inclined toward just putting her in the "I don't care about this person anymore until she grows up" column.

You don't forgive a jackal, you just lock it out of your house.