Monday, December 29, 2008
Do you dream in sci-fi?
People ask if I dream in color. It's hard to say, I'm not very visual in my dreams. There's a roughwork of visions, but I largely dream in feelings, concepts, and emotions.
I woke up one night with a dream banging around in my head, and I actually bothered (for once) to type the story out. I've had many odd dreams, in one I was in the Student Center at my college, hiding in a dark hallway with (believe it or not), Johnny Fever from WKRP in Cincinatti. He was offering me some cocaine coated mixed nuts.
In this dream, I dreamed in Sci-Fi. It's an old plot in an out-space setting (like a LOT of sci-fi), but what the hell? Here it is:
I was part of a travelling colony on an asteroid, with its atmosphere held in place artificially. The colony was small, and it's population held in control with a dowery system. I was young and of marrying age (around 16). I was in love with one girl, and was expected to marry another. The latter was the darling of the colony, everyone loved her, the former was unknown.
An accident involving the close pass-by of a comet occurred. After a few attempts to fix it, the colony lost the ability to retain its air. Older, poorer sections went first, which included my home and the home of the girl I loved. I tried to comfort her, and in the last sections I offerred to push her off the asteroid for a faster death, and so her body wouldn't be destroyed in upcoming collisions, but she said she'd be lonely floating in open space alone.
Somehow I ended up making it out of that section after she died in our bed, and into one of the few richer sections with better air tight systems so the air was still in place for now (although leaking). Here was my fiance (the darling of the colony). She said she wanted to know what it was like to ride horses under an open sun, and the colonists reinflated a small open town square bubble, and used it to show us a movie of a couple riding horses on a beach on a sunny day. She said she wanted to know what it was like to ride a train, and they. dressed up a water supply feed tunnel, and send us around the outside of the asteroid underground in a simulated train ride.
With both of these fantasies having wasted the little extra air the richer section of town had, and with my fiance grateful for the gift given her by the colony's richer members, she decides to return to my room and my bed with me, and die there as long as we are careful to position ourselves with me exactly halfway between her body and the body of my other love, so that anyone in the future that found us wouldn't think she was secondary in her relationship with me.
Possible theme: The difference in attitudes between first discovering the doom and thinking the colony would be completely destroyed (when I thought my first love would be better off a floating corpse in open space), and the end when we feel that the lifeless colony would be discovered, and we were worried about how our bodies would be discovered.
I woke up one night with a dream banging around in my head, and I actually bothered (for once) to type the story out. I've had many odd dreams, in one I was in the Student Center at my college, hiding in a dark hallway with (believe it or not), Johnny Fever from WKRP in Cincinatti. He was offering me some cocaine coated mixed nuts.
In this dream, I dreamed in Sci-Fi. It's an old plot in an out-space setting (like a LOT of sci-fi), but what the hell? Here it is:
I was part of a travelling colony on an asteroid, with its atmosphere held in place artificially. The colony was small, and it's population held in control with a dowery system. I was young and of marrying age (around 16). I was in love with one girl, and was expected to marry another. The latter was the darling of the colony, everyone loved her, the former was unknown.
An accident involving the close pass-by of a comet occurred. After a few attempts to fix it, the colony lost the ability to retain its air. Older, poorer sections went first, which included my home and the home of the girl I loved. I tried to comfort her, and in the last sections I offerred to push her off the asteroid for a faster death, and so her body wouldn't be destroyed in upcoming collisions, but she said she'd be lonely floating in open space alone.
Somehow I ended up making it out of that section after she died in our bed, and into one of the few richer sections with better air tight systems so the air was still in place for now (although leaking). Here was my fiance (the darling of the colony). She said she wanted to know what it was like to ride horses under an open sun, and the colonists reinflated a small open town square bubble, and used it to show us a movie of a couple riding horses on a beach on a sunny day. She said she wanted to know what it was like to ride a train, and they. dressed up a water supply feed tunnel, and send us around the outside of the asteroid underground in a simulated train ride.
With both of these fantasies having wasted the little extra air the richer section of town had, and with my fiance grateful for the gift given her by the colony's richer members, she decides to return to my room and my bed with me, and die there as long as we are careful to position ourselves with me exactly halfway between her body and the body of my other love, so that anyone in the future that found us wouldn't think she was secondary in her relationship with me.
Possible theme: The difference in attitudes between first discovering the doom and thinking the colony would be completely destroyed (when I thought my first love would be better off a floating corpse in open space), and the end when we feel that the lifeless colony would be discovered, and we were worried about how our bodies would be discovered.
Fallible Fathers
My father was the oldest of four children.
I've posted before (before I deleted the blog that is) about the differences between oldest children, and the youngest. Dad was definitely an oldest type. I loved him to death, when I was a pre-schooler, I used to follow him around and imitate him.
He had an "oldest" mindset. There was that calm assurance of his own infallibility, the inability to easily see another point of view...
He was better than most, partly because the free-thinking 60's happened while they were raising kids and watching with alarm what was going on in Vietnam while their kids were approaching draft age. He truly tried to be open minded, and did well for a man raised to admire Bing Crosby.
But, I was a youngest. A lot of us are (by oldest standards) more free thinking, odder, more off-the-wall, and lets face it... Irresponsible (at least at a young age.)
He was ill equipped to handle me. Between his "oldest" mindset, and his 50's upbringing in which the answer to child-rearing problems was just "more discipline", he was pretty much at a loss.
I remember some things that would be called flat child abuse these days, but even then I understood that he loved me and that these incidents happened out of his desperation.
I (of course) blamed myself for everything, that's what "youngest" and introspective types do.
It all worked out, but it took a LONG time for him to understand, for me to stop blaming myself, for him to find different ways, for me to learn how to tell him what I needed to in the proper manner...
All that stuff.
He was fallible, and he tried his best.
I remember I was in college before I ever overheard a conversation between him and Mom that told me he liked me. (I knew he loved me, "like" is a different thing)
My girlfriend has a 13 year old son that is a lot like I was in some ways.
I'm better at handling it than Dad was, but largely because I know what didn't work with me.
I've posted before (before I deleted the blog that is) about the differences between oldest children, and the youngest. Dad was definitely an oldest type. I loved him to death, when I was a pre-schooler, I used to follow him around and imitate him.
He had an "oldest" mindset. There was that calm assurance of his own infallibility, the inability to easily see another point of view...
He was better than most, partly because the free-thinking 60's happened while they were raising kids and watching with alarm what was going on in Vietnam while their kids were approaching draft age. He truly tried to be open minded, and did well for a man raised to admire Bing Crosby.
But, I was a youngest. A lot of us are (by oldest standards) more free thinking, odder, more off-the-wall, and lets face it... Irresponsible (at least at a young age.)
He was ill equipped to handle me. Between his "oldest" mindset, and his 50's upbringing in which the answer to child-rearing problems was just "more discipline", he was pretty much at a loss.
I remember some things that would be called flat child abuse these days, but even then I understood that he loved me and that these incidents happened out of his desperation.
I (of course) blamed myself for everything, that's what "youngest" and introspective types do.
It all worked out, but it took a LONG time for him to understand, for me to stop blaming myself, for him to find different ways, for me to learn how to tell him what I needed to in the proper manner...
All that stuff.
He was fallible, and he tried his best.
I remember I was in college before I ever overheard a conversation between him and Mom that told me he liked me. (I knew he loved me, "like" is a different thing)
My girlfriend has a 13 year old son that is a lot like I was in some ways.
I'm better at handling it than Dad was, but largely because I know what didn't work with me.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Gimme NOW, screw tomorrow.
I just saw another opinion piece blaming the automotive industry's financial problems on their high labor costs.
There's a few things they're not telling you here.
One of them is that when they give you a figure like "$73/hour", they including all labor costs. That's wages (before taxes), medical insurance, life insurance, and all costs for retired workers (including their retirement pay, THEIR insurance, etc). Our automotive industry was built back in the days before 401k's, retirement was a benefit, not a savings plan. If they are burdened for those payments (which are the largest for any automotive companies in the world), it's because of their previous obligations for their more halcion days.
Those of us old enough to remember the 70's have seen this before. The gas crunch in those days cause a similar crisis, and we end up wondering how these companies can blame their workers, when they had every warning that such a thing could and would happen again.
So why were they so unprepared?
Well, one reason is that they've been bailed out a few times now. They figure they can just run the business irresponsibly with no concession given to potential disasters or bad times. They don't innovate, they don't plan, they run the company as a big bureacratic behemeth to get the most profit then can immediately. Long term planning is non-existent, because they figure the taxpayers will come rescue their sorry asses when the shit hits the fan.
The people that make these decisions have no incentive to make long range plans either. With CEO and boardroom compensation in the millions, or tens of millions of dollars, it only takes a few years for the people at the top to rake in enough money to last a lifetime. Their focus is all the profit they can squeeze out of the company as fast as possible. That's what best benefits them, and that's what best benefits their biggest stockholders. (Smaller stockholders are of no consequence)
Fifty years ago, the people at the top only earned small percentage of what the rank and file earned at a large company. They were there for the long haul, maybe their entire career. As such they made decisions to keep the company in good shape for their whole working lives, and maybe longer.
These days, only the workers and small investors have such perspectives.
Our corporate culture needs a complete overhaul, and if we can't get it done any other way, then we need to get it done legislatively.
There's a few things they're not telling you here.
One of them is that when they give you a figure like "$73/hour", they including all labor costs. That's wages (before taxes), medical insurance, life insurance, and all costs for retired workers (including their retirement pay, THEIR insurance, etc). Our automotive industry was built back in the days before 401k's, retirement was a benefit, not a savings plan. If they are burdened for those payments (which are the largest for any automotive companies in the world), it's because of their previous obligations for their more halcion days.
Those of us old enough to remember the 70's have seen this before. The gas crunch in those days cause a similar crisis, and we end up wondering how these companies can blame their workers, when they had every warning that such a thing could and would happen again.
So why were they so unprepared?
Well, one reason is that they've been bailed out a few times now. They figure they can just run the business irresponsibly with no concession given to potential disasters or bad times. They don't innovate, they don't plan, they run the company as a big bureacratic behemeth to get the most profit then can immediately. Long term planning is non-existent, because they figure the taxpayers will come rescue their sorry asses when the shit hits the fan.
The people that make these decisions have no incentive to make long range plans either. With CEO and boardroom compensation in the millions, or tens of millions of dollars, it only takes a few years for the people at the top to rake in enough money to last a lifetime. Their focus is all the profit they can squeeze out of the company as fast as possible. That's what best benefits them, and that's what best benefits their biggest stockholders. (Smaller stockholders are of no consequence)
Fifty years ago, the people at the top only earned small percentage of what the rank and file earned at a large company. They were there for the long haul, maybe their entire career. As such they made decisions to keep the company in good shape for their whole working lives, and maybe longer.
These days, only the workers and small investors have such perspectives.
Our corporate culture needs a complete overhaul, and if we can't get it done any other way, then we need to get it done legislatively.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I know you hate me
Lets look at the other side of forgiveness.
Lets look at the forgiven. (Or those that want forgiveness)
My interest in this topic is recent, it comes from recent experiences with people that are obsessed with it, talk about it, focus on it.
With distance I'm putting things together. There's a pattern here.
They consistently (even constantly) talk about how they've "forgiven" themselves. If you tell them you've forgiven them for some incident, they also take that forgiveness and apply it to everything they've ever done with or to you. Any forgiveness is applied in a blanket manner.
In an argument, there's always the phrase "I know you hate me".
These are people that are obsessed by forgiveness because they want it so much.
But they won't change the things they do, the way they behave. They continue to act in callous disregard, then deny they did it. Admission of any wrongdoing requires days, weeks, months, even years of discussion after discussion, all the while racking up more offenses.
They are often VERY good at arguments, although they don't stay on the point. Any conflict leads to a furious, vicious scattershot of statements, hundreds of non-sequiters, denials, red herrings, vicious attacks, empathetic half truths... Anything and everything to confuse, obfuscate, and avoid actually taking responsibility.
The core though, is in those phrases. They want forgiveness because they see it as a way to wipe the slate clean. They want that not so they can be a better person, or repair the relationship, but so they can salve their conscience enough to continue to do what they want.
"I know you hate me" is the sign of someone that has been doing this a long long time. They believe they are deserving of hate, because they so often HAVE been deserving of hate. They KNOW they are behaving badly at some level; they've seen far to many people walk away hating them.
So, even while the offended person is trying to repair, they are assuming that someone else hates them.
Oddly, as aware as the people I've seen are of this entire thing, they spend so much of their time learning to lie to themselves, that they continue that pattern. They lie to you, they lie to themselves, they lie to their therapist, they don't seem to KNOW the way out.
They don't WANT to know, that would mean they need to change their habits.
And that is a non-starter. Better to leave their victims behind them.
And lie.
Lets look at the forgiven. (Or those that want forgiveness)
My interest in this topic is recent, it comes from recent experiences with people that are obsessed with it, talk about it, focus on it.
With distance I'm putting things together. There's a pattern here.
They consistently (even constantly) talk about how they've "forgiven" themselves. If you tell them you've forgiven them for some incident, they also take that forgiveness and apply it to everything they've ever done with or to you. Any forgiveness is applied in a blanket manner.
In an argument, there's always the phrase "I know you hate me".
These are people that are obsessed by forgiveness because they want it so much.
But they won't change the things they do, the way they behave. They continue to act in callous disregard, then deny they did it. Admission of any wrongdoing requires days, weeks, months, even years of discussion after discussion, all the while racking up more offenses.
They are often VERY good at arguments, although they don't stay on the point. Any conflict leads to a furious, vicious scattershot of statements, hundreds of non-sequiters, denials, red herrings, vicious attacks, empathetic half truths... Anything and everything to confuse, obfuscate, and avoid actually taking responsibility.
The core though, is in those phrases. They want forgiveness because they see it as a way to wipe the slate clean. They want that not so they can be a better person, or repair the relationship, but so they can salve their conscience enough to continue to do what they want.
"I know you hate me" is the sign of someone that has been doing this a long long time. They believe they are deserving of hate, because they so often HAVE been deserving of hate. They KNOW they are behaving badly at some level; they've seen far to many people walk away hating them.
So, even while the offended person is trying to repair, they are assuming that someone else hates them.
Oddly, as aware as the people I've seen are of this entire thing, they spend so much of their time learning to lie to themselves, that they continue that pattern. They lie to you, they lie to themselves, they lie to their therapist, they don't seem to KNOW the way out.
They don't WANT to know, that would mean they need to change their habits.
And that is a non-starter. Better to leave their victims behind them.
And lie.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Requirements for forgiveness
I found the following on Yahoo Answers, detailing God's requirements for forgiveness...
There's a bit more than I detailed in my forgiveness post below, but I think a stripped down version of this is also what is required for forgiveness between people.
How can I be and feel forgiven?
The Real Need for Forgiveness
God hates sin; He cannot stand to look at its ugliness. Therefore, unconfessed sin in our lives comes between us and damages our relationship with the Lord.
"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, or his ear too dull to hear, but your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that He will not hear." (Isaiah 59:1-2)
Not only does unforgiveness come between us and God, it also breaks our relationships with others.
"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." (Proverbs 17:9)
The Requirements for Forgiveness
Because God hates sin, the price for forgiveness is high. Scripture gives the following requirements for forgiveness:
Sacrifice. Hebrews 9:22 says that "without the shedding of Blood, there is no forgiveness." In the Old Testament, a sacrifice of an unblemished lamb was required to satisfy God's wrath. Jesus, the sinless Son of God, died on the cross and became the ultimate sacrifice for sin. Jesus bought our forgiveness when he died on the cross.
"For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." (1 Peter 3:18a)
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." (Ephesians 1:7)
Forgiveness of others. Another requirement for forgiveness of sins in that we forgive others. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that "real love keeps no record of wrongs." Remember that Proverbs 17:9 tells us that a real friend will forgive. God has also made forgiving others a requirement for receiving His forgiveness.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14,15)
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
Confession of sin. We must admit our sins to God if our relationship with Him is to be restored completely. Looking back at the real need for forgiveness, we see that unconfessed sin can separate us in our relationship with God. Confession is the way to restore that relationship with the Lord, remembering that it is for our own benefit that we confess to return to the Lord because He is faithful even when we are not (2 Timothy 2:13).
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)
Repentance. We must decide to change, to turn from our sins.
"Therefore this is what the Lord says, 'If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me.'" (Jeremiah 15:19a)
The Results of Forgiveness
The Bible promises the following benefits of God's forgiveness:
Happiness. When we know God's forgiveness, we are blessed (happy).
"Blessed (happy) is he whose transgressions are forgiven, who sins are covered. Blessed (happy) is the man whose sin the Lord doesn't count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit." (Psalm 32:1,2)
God chooses not to hold our sins against us. Another result of forgiveness is that God doesn't keep a record of our sins, He does not hold them against us. Because the blood of Christ covered our sins, God chooses to put them out of His mind.
"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." (Isaiah 43:25)
God removes our sin from us. "It is possible for the Lord to look at us without seeing our sins because when he forgave us, he removed our sins as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12)
We can forgive ourselves. When we are forgiven, we can forgive ourselves and go on with our lives.
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13,14)
There's a bit more than I detailed in my forgiveness post below, but I think a stripped down version of this is also what is required for forgiveness between people.
How can I be and feel forgiven?
The Real Need for Forgiveness
God hates sin; He cannot stand to look at its ugliness. Therefore, unconfessed sin in our lives comes between us and damages our relationship with the Lord.
"Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, or his ear too dull to hear, but your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that He will not hear." (Isaiah 59:1-2)
Not only does unforgiveness come between us and God, it also breaks our relationships with others.
"He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." (Proverbs 17:9)
The Requirements for Forgiveness
Because God hates sin, the price for forgiveness is high. Scripture gives the following requirements for forgiveness:
Sacrifice. Hebrews 9:22 says that "without the shedding of Blood, there is no forgiveness." In the Old Testament, a sacrifice of an unblemished lamb was required to satisfy God's wrath. Jesus, the sinless Son of God, died on the cross and became the ultimate sacrifice for sin. Jesus bought our forgiveness when he died on the cross.
"For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." (1 Peter 3:18a)
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." (Ephesians 1:7)
Forgiveness of others. Another requirement for forgiveness of sins in that we forgive others. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that "real love keeps no record of wrongs." Remember that Proverbs 17:9 tells us that a real friend will forgive. God has also made forgiving others a requirement for receiving His forgiveness.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14,15)
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
Confession of sin. We must admit our sins to God if our relationship with Him is to be restored completely. Looking back at the real need for forgiveness, we see that unconfessed sin can separate us in our relationship with God. Confession is the way to restore that relationship with the Lord, remembering that it is for our own benefit that we confess to return to the Lord because He is faithful even when we are not (2 Timothy 2:13).
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)
Repentance. We must decide to change, to turn from our sins.
"Therefore this is what the Lord says, 'If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me.'" (Jeremiah 15:19a)
The Results of Forgiveness
The Bible promises the following benefits of God's forgiveness:
Happiness. When we know God's forgiveness, we are blessed (happy).
"Blessed (happy) is he whose transgressions are forgiven, who sins are covered. Blessed (happy) is the man whose sin the Lord doesn't count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit." (Psalm 32:1,2)
God chooses not to hold our sins against us. Another result of forgiveness is that God doesn't keep a record of our sins, He does not hold them against us. Because the blood of Christ covered our sins, God chooses to put them out of His mind.
"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." (Isaiah 43:25)
God removes our sin from us. "It is possible for the Lord to look at us without seeing our sins because when he forgave us, he removed our sins as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12)
We can forgive ourselves. When we are forgiven, we can forgive ourselves and go on with our lives.
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13,14)
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